I want to do this!

Introduce myself to 43 things, make new friends!

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  • sabryn
    sabryn Doing 10 cheers 2018-01-02 14:44:07

    So I am late finding this goal. And even later adding an entry. For anyone who is still around...here goes.

    I found 43t in early 2006. Like a lot of people, I was going through a really rough patch. I was just coming out of a downward spiral, during which I racked up two broken engagements and a divorce in a 5-year period and had decided I was simply too stupid to date. I had a tendency to date my friends in my 20s (a safety mechanism on my part, as I was still recovering from sexual assault in my teens), which meant I had no friends and no social life outside my parents. (I mean, they're wonderful and all, but I wanted to occasionally play with kids my own age.) Plus I was in a highly stressful dead-end job that sucked up pretty much all of my energy. I tried therapy, but it didn't help. I was drinking too much, smoking too much, eating basically nothing at all, and reading 3-4 books simultaneously, trying to get out of my head. Plus I was barely scraping by thanks to the financial upheaval brought about by all of those broken relationships. I needed an outlet, something to take my mind off of my pitiful state.

    One night I got the idea to take lessons. I've always been an avid learner, and I figured that pursuing new hobbies would be a good way to distract myself out of depression and maybe even meet some people. So I sat down and made a list of things I would like to learn and started Googling classes. One of the searches, for photography lessons, led me to 43t. As things turned out, I didn't have the money for lessons, but I did find a tremendous support network in 43t.

    Things started out slow for me. My goals were half sincere, half snarky/self-pitying at first, and I didn't get a lot of response from the community. But as time passed I made some wonderful friends, many of whom I am friends with to this day. It was quite literally life altering, surrounding myself with this network of people who set goals and worked to achieve them. Social media was just starting to really take off, but I didn't have much use for MySpace or Facebook -- they seemed to be all about chasing the hookup (this was back before all our parents joined 🙂 ), and I was done with that noise, thank you very much. But 43t was full of people who inspired me to do better, do more, grow. And still is.

    I have achieved many long-time goals since I created my first 43t account. I quit smoking, quit my job, and established a freelance career. I had two kids and got married (to someone I wouldn't even have called back had it not been for the urging of a fellow 43ter!) I have established several healthy habits, and have ditched several unhealthy ones. I am a happier, better person, and much of the credit goes to the inspiration I received from 43t. It was a dark day for me when the old site went down, and a happy one when this one arose. I will do what I can to help make it a success, because it's been such a driving force in my life. And I look forward to making new friends and achieving more goals!

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  • Airos
    Airos 5 cheers 2017-11-30 04:26:28

    I love lists, been making 'to do' list and goals since I was . . . don't remember not doing it.

    So looking to abandon my paper habit and thinking perhaps that there might be website that helped me keep track of my list and goals. I found 43 things back in 2005. I quickly made a list of 30 some goals. Wrote a little about each of them. Came back the next day, had some cheers and few comments. Cool!

    43 things was awesome for helping me focus and achieve my goals when it shut down I had over 200 things in my done pile. I learned to cook yummy meals, made my business successful, got hang of styling my daughters hair, lost 30 pounds (found it again), traveled to Europe, did a back flip, touched my toes without bending my knees, and so many other things both fun and serious. So cudos to 43T for that. Also, thanks to 43T, I found many people that I could relate to and identify with.

    But the title of this is to introduce myself so . . .

    I am not normal, I suppose very few people think that they are, but I get told that a lot, so after many years I am embracing it. I get told things like 'stop thinking so much,' 'don't be so literal,' over and over again. Perhaps I am a very small, tad Autistic, never got labeled that but the more I learn about it, I can see it. In any event never been called 'normal' nor, thankfully, 'boring.' 'Exhausting,' that I have been called. . . In any event . . . I am, at core, an introvert, but have made so many goals to overcome the dark side of that I am very comfortable engaging people and being the center of attention. Although, I still struggle with small talk, I can do it easily I just don't get the fulfillment that other seem to derive from it.

    So as such, I know hundreds of people, but only have ever had a handful of friends. 'Alone' is something I identify strongly with and have come to be comfortable with. BUT not something I ever wanted or desired.

    I was married, I have 3 children that I love and adore and have to share with their mother. We work well together as parents and live 2 blocks apart. We separated in 2010. After about a year of being separated, I dated for a couple years. I gave that up almost 4 years ago when I lost my first business. I would like to get to a place where I would like to do that again, perhaps find someone to grow old, fabulously, together with.

    I ran a successful business for 18 years but lost it in a hostile takeover. I am good with this as it was good time to move on. I bought a franchise and after 2 years of struggling with it, just as I had figured out how to overcome the structural challenges that hampered my success and finally getting some momentum, I was terminated with cause (didn't reach revenue thresholds). I am currently dealing with this, not well.

    I have had several episodes of depressive disorder in my life. I have very good cognitions that help me manage my way through it, never needed medication and remained relatively high functioning. The last 4 years I have had deaths (father, uncles aunts), a fire, a divorce, two business gone under, health issues, money issues . . . 43T shut down . . . right now I am in a bad place and depression has sunk it's talons in me.

    Then there is my Mother. The dark cloud. I am an only child. She is a very negative, controlling, ailing person. In the last 4 years I had to move her into assisted living. I do my best to do 'what I think' is right by her. Although she is always wanting more. 7 years of therapy and I still have mommy issues. I could go on and on. I am mostly accepting and ok with her and have done a remarkable job of forgiving the abuse I was subjected to. But still suffer from the echoes of it. Perhaps I need to make some goals around that hmmm.

    Few random things:

    • I think literal things are funnier than sarcastic things.

    • I love to cook (and eat)

    • I have never felt limited in ability aside from being able to play a musical instrument. (hmmm maybe it is time to overcome that)

    • I drink a lot of tea

    • I have a strong artistic side that I largely don't use

    • I can find the beauty in almost everything.

    • I used to be google before the internet was around, friends would call me for information. My best friend still does, love that guy.

    • I am ready to get out of this dark place and so glad 43T is here to help.

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  • WingedThing
    WingedThing Done 0 cheers 2017-07-04 20:38:50

    I've done this!

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  • aroha
    aroha Doing 2 cheers 2017-05-23 10:18:47

    What's the story behind your username??

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    • View more replies...
    • hawkmeister
      hawkmeister 4 cheers 2017-06-06 19:14:17

      @aroha Hawkmeister--once upon a time I had a great little motorcycle, a Honda HawkGT. I was its master. :)

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    • beequeen
      beequeen 3 cheers 2017-06-07 15:55:21


      I like Bees. I use beeswax to make art.

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    • Airos
      Airos 2 cheers 2017-11-30 02:55:36

      @aroha Thanks for asking.

      I have spent most of my life in pursuit of love and knowledge. In recognition of these two, very important drives I adopted the internet name Airos over 20 years ago. It is a homonym of Eros, the Greek God of sexual attraction and love. Airos is also an abbreviated version or possible nickname for Aristotle, who was also very driven by the pursuit of knowledge and has been labeled the last man to know everything to know at the time. Although I have no delusion of attaining that impossible stature, I think it is pretty cool. Thus Airos represents both of my core passions, love and knowledge.

      Years later, after having to spell it (it was my email name) too many times, I realized OS is short for operating system and we all need 'air' to operate. That was a fun cognition for me.

      I am so attached to the name that I often won't join a website if I can't have it for a user name.

      I was one of the first users on the old 43T, albeit not a die-hard frequenter of the site. I see 43T as a place to be open and honest in the pursuit of a better self; Support and be supportive of others on similar journeys; I feel that is too simple, but I am at a loss to describe what 43T was I just hope it can be something like it was before.

      What does 'Aroha' represent to you?

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    • hercat66
      hercat66 1 cheers 2017-11-30 03:09:25

      @Airos Mine is nothing so grand as yours, but my totem animal is the cougar and my wife's is the wolf. She calls me her cat so I used her nickname with me and threw in the year I was born.

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    • moosey
      moosey 1 cheers 2017-12-04 00:33:34

      @aroha I really love moose. I'd love to meet one one day. I visit where they live often, but haven't spied one yet!

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  • aroha
    aroha Doing 6 cheers 2017-05-13 22:15:05

    How weird! I closed my 43t account before the whole site went down, I was having a hard time and felt some time away would do me good. I didn't mean like that shakes fists at old 43t

    Now I really feel like a new person, new country, new job, new lifestyle. Overall, happier

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  • WingedThing
    WingedThing Done 12 cheers 2017-04-09 01:58:39

    Wow. Well. This is interesting. We're back.

    'ellooo...I'm LipGlossKiller aka Molly. Nice to meet you :)

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  • ahorrasi
    ahorrasi Doing 7 cheers 2017-04-08 05:06:50

    i was having loads of fun interacting on the popclogs site, but suddenly it won't allow me to log on, ever, because the PHP facebook whatsit protocol either broke or has been deprecated

    oh well, I guess I'm meant to be on here now

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    • hopeslife
      hopeslife 2 cheers 2017-04-08 06:31:09

      @ahorrasi Lol they don't fix things over there... ever.

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      • ahorrasi
        ahorrasi Doing 0 cheers 2017-04-09 04:48:55

        @hopeslife yes, theres only one bloke named Jon who ever showed any interest of ownership and i haven't seen him in MONTHS. Once I even wrote through the 'i want to advertise on your site' portal and didn't even get a response to THAT! LOL.

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        • hopeslife
          hopeslife 1 cheers 2017-04-09 19:11:55

          @ahorrasi Well I emailed him once back in 2014 and he did respond to me. I wouldn't be surprised though if the site will be shut down soon. He seems to have no interest in keeping it up. It's also why I don't use Facebook to log into anything. They can change something and break it.

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    • wyverndust
      wyverndust 2 cheers 2017-04-09 04:18:56

      @ahorrasi I can't remember my password on popclogs and I can't get the forgot password reminder email thing to work. I didn't want to create a new account so I guess I am done with popclogs for now

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      • ahorrasi
        ahorrasi Doing 1 cheers 2017-04-09 04:48:05

        @wyverndust yeah i already had to create a 2nd account when i was having problems with facebook last year, NONE of the FB accounts work, and i basically ran out of email addresses with which to create accounts. Pity, bc I had a good thing going.

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      • hopeslife
        hopeslife 1 cheers 2017-04-09 19:14:03

        @wyverndust I think the same thing happened to me. I got locked out of one of my LastPass accounts, (bad, bad me!) and I could never get the "forgot password" thing to send. I was able to log on back when the new 43T first launched though, and no updates or notifications were showing.

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    • BeingBryn
      BeingBryn 3 cheers 2017-04-10 00:03:24

      @hopeslife It's good here! πŸ™‚

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  • fantomenmom
    fantomenmom Done 4 cheers 2017-03-18 00:03:55

    I've done this!

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  • junebug
    junebug Done 3 cheers 2017-03-02 06:16:44

    I've done this!

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  • khryssizzle
    khryssizzle Done 3 cheers 2017-03-01 08:09:46

    I've done this!

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